For whom the bell tolls...

No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

(John Dunne)

To my dear uncle who left us today. Our world won't be the same without you.

Good-bye, dear Friend

He’s gone. He left us. And our life will be less complete, less happy without him. After a 10-months battle against cancer our wonderful friend Colin was defeated. He fought with bravery and dignity all the time. He never lost his hope, his sense of humour, his dignity. But he lost his life. We all lost. I feel numb and powerless. Devastated. But now we have to try our best for his kids, we have to support them. And we will. He was their rock, their strength. He was our rock too.

Good-bye, dear friend, we will love you forever!

15.05.2005

This date is carved in my heart and makes it bleed. Five years later the bleeding is still here and will never stop. As we will never stop loving you, wonderful lovely boy taken away from us in the bloom of your teenage years for a reason we still don’t understand. A medical complication of a very silly food poisoning. A burger place I will hate forever, because it killed you. A frantic journey by bus, train, plane, coach again and then car to get to you when it was already too late, when the only thing left for me to do was to kiss your beautiful but cold forehead. You were the first baby in the family, the dearest boy ever born for us, you were a bit mine as well, as you were a bit of your cousins too when they were born and got to know their wonderful big cousin. You would have been 20 years old now, maybe at Uni, driving a car, loving a girlfriend, coming to England to see us and to watch your beloved Chelsea, being with us. Instead, all of this was taken away from as you were taken away from us. My dear wonderful Fabrizio, we will love you forever!

Loss

Earth to Earth

Ashes to Ashes

Dust to Dust

And so I've lost another dear friend to cancer. Feelings of sadness, loss, anger and even guilt. Guilt because I will miss her although I know that now her suffering is over. Feelings of betrayal and anger because this time I really thought she would manage to win the fight.

And because I've never felt so attached to life as today.