Wednesday, 8 July 2009
The Black Beast
It does not happen very often, but when it happens I’m overwhelmed. Perhaps it seems to me more acute because I’m generally a positive person and I love life. But when it happens everything seems dark around me and inside me. My neighbours are horrible and spy on me (well, actually a couple of them really are!), my kids hate me and don’t appreciate what I do for them, we will all soon die of swine flu as the NHS is hopeless. I won’t have enough work next month and my house will be repossessed, they will close the Italian borders because of the pandemic and I will never see my parents again. And I cannot breath. I call it the “black beast” but my GP think it’s PMT. Fortunately it does not come back every month, though. But when it comes, like now, I’d like to dig a deep hole in the ground and hide. Forever. But that’s wrong. And that’s why I’m shutting down the computer now and I go out in the cool air (yes, summer is finished, by the way – another “positive” thought!) trying to shake this off. As my favourite literature hero said “I shall conquer this!”
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20 comments:
We have all been there my friend. Chin up it will pass. You are a strong person. Sending hugs your way.
We all have those thoughts....I swear I tell my husband every day, why does my son hate me? What if something happens to us? Why do I feel so out of control? You are not alone in these thoughts. This too will pass. Sending you a hug from across the world.
xoxo
Me too - from across the wolds!
Big hug to you, Antonella. Keep going - it will lift at some point. x
Ha ha fabulously described
We are not SUPER women and we have to accept our frailty. Sometimes the most demanding to us are... ourselves! Life is a very difficult journey which requires patience, courage and love. I am sure you own all of them. Hold on and be patient with yourself! BIG HUG!
Hang in there, Antonella. You'll get past this! {{Hugs}}
Oh Antonella what you express i how I feel a couple of days every week. But only for a few hours at most. You are perfectly entitled to feel so low because form there the only way is up.
It isn't just society who expects us to be superwomen - we are sold the myth too. Be gentle on yourself.
Take care of your sweet self. You are so wise to turn off the computer and go outside. Vitamin D, sunshine and beauty are good antidepressants.
Hugs to you.xoxo
I go thru it too every couple of months! Sending you hugs!!
Huge hugs Antonella - The Black Beast is the best name for it. Hopefully it will soon be gone, setting you free. And when it has, pop over to mine, where you'll see I've tagged you for the 8 things meme that's doing the rounds. It was quite fun to do, so I hope it helps lift your spirits. Lots of love, Karen x
Hi there-oh, wishing you feel better very soon my dear, its horrid how it makes you feel, take care!!
Sending you lots of virtual hugs and kisses from across the globe. At least, being virtual they won't smother. Be well, Antonella.
I found your like at Kia's. I noted that you also have luna as part of yur ID.
I am so sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed and unappreciated. There are many, many times that I feel exactly the same. Today, as a matter of a fact, is one of those day for me. I will say a prayer for the both of us.
Congratulations to your daughter on making her First Holy Communion. I am also Catholic and know how important it is. I attended a Catholic school during my elementary school years. I am a second generation Italian-American.
Take care.
Liz
Hi Antonella, I call it the black dog and I know just what you mean. The days have past for me to have PMT so it is most likely the meopause still rearing it`s ugly head. I hope you feel a lot better soon.
Love and Hugs
Sandra xxxx
Ciao Antonella, hope you are feeling better today. It's sunny here, and it helps my mood. :) As I wrote you by e-mail yesterday, I think we all feel overwhelmend and unappreciated every now and then. You are not alone! As you can also see from the other comments. For me, talking/writing about it is good 'cos I always feel better after I let it all out. :)
I just saw your comment, thank you very much for visiting! And you are always so sweet, the swan is just a "doodle" (scarabocchio) but a way to say HI! :D
Happy Friday, hope you'll be able to relax during the weekend. BTW, look out for an e-mail. :) Ciao!
@Everybody: Dear Ladies and a Gentleman, Thank you for all your warm words and lovely hugs you sent me across the globe! They meant a lot to me. I feel better now. I think the crisis is over for the moment. Just hope it won't come back. Wish you all a great weekend! Ciao. A.
oh its horrible when its like that isn't it?
I know you will conquer this and even though we don't always recognise it, our kids do appreciate us. If we were to disappear for half a day even, they would be heart broken and would not kno wwhat to do. Your kids do love you as you love them, I am sure (as proved by those thoughtful notes they have eleft for you). I am thinking of you at this time and look forward to reading your recent tiramisu post...can I have the recipe...please? It looks just divine!
PMT is so hideous - I used to get it like this every single month (hooray for hormonal contraception, which has completely vanquished it. It's not ideal, but simply for getting rid of the PMT I will be forever grateful!).
Jackie
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